آين ميل رو چند ماه پيش برات نوشته بودم
 
dare baron miad
 ...
barono hanoz yadete ? yadete baram minevehsti reza che baroni dare  miad .. reza kash alan pisham booodi ... hala shirin che baroni dare miad ... kash pisham boodi .... kash kash kash
midoni chand hezar ta eykash gooftam to ein chand mah .... hamishe vaghti migofti goomsho , sari poshtesh migofti vali ziad dor naro ... hafteye pish ke omadam wallmart bazam goofti goomsho ... ama ein bar nagooofti vali ziad door naro ... shayadam to delet goofti .... mese hame on chiza ke az zaboonet nashnidamo be khodam goftam shayad to delesh goofte ....
 
kash mitonesti bebini ,
                                     ke man cheghad divoonatam
bezar behet sabet konam ba nafaset joon migiram
bezar ke toye dastaye to ye zare aroom begiram ...
 
eina ro velesh ,,,, che barooni miad ... che havaei .. che hessi hast ... ye hese latif ..yese hese arooom mese on roooza , mese on roooza ke bazi vaghta fekr mikonam male 1000 sal ghabl boode bazi vaghta fekr mikonam male hamin emroz sobh bood ... hamishe montazeram booodi ... yadete shaba ke 11-12 shab zang mizanam barat ye ahang bezaram ke voice mail beshe barat , ghooshi ke javab midadi migoofti sari baz az on mogheha bood ke nabayad javab midadam , badesh migofti midoni ke man nemitonam be tele to javab nadam .. jedi tahala fekr kardi on shirin kojast dige ? jedi shayad on rooz rast gooftam . shirin man hanoz az iran naymade ..
begoo .. boland bego .. ein pesare cheghad khole cheghad bache hast cheghadr ahmaghe .. are hastam ... donyayae adamaye aghalo dost nadaram ... dost nadaram mese shoma adam aghala basham ... mese adam bozorgha basham ... mikham khodam basham .. hamon khooodi ke ye roozi goofti na to bache nisti to faghat ba hameye donya fargh mikoni .. are man az hame donya ahmagh taram .. az hame donya divone taram ... rast migi az ye adame divone bayad tarsid ...
 
eina ro velesh ... che baroni dare miad ... az on barana ke to dost dari ... panjere ro baz kardam , parde ro zadam kenar , khibaon peydast ... hamon khiaboni ke hanozam miram poshte ein panjere ta montazere omadane to basham ...  hanoz har mashine germezi ke az sare cary st mipiche to , badanamo milarzone ... paham shol mishe ... mese bache 18 sale ke delesh vase didane dokhtare hamsaye vol vol mikhore ....
ye sigare do nafare hanoz hasratesh be deele man monde .... doodesho az labat behem bedi ...
nemidonam koja hastam alan ... kojaye zendeghiye to .. vaghan nemidonam dige ... az hamishe gij taram ... nago baz toro harkarit konan baz shekayat mikoni ... ein harf hagh man nist dokhtare shirine man ... nemidonam kojaye fekretam ... cheghad behem mikoni ... mohemtar az einke alan cheghad behem fekr mikoni cheghad to ein chand mahe to donyaye to ja dashtam ... keya fekram boodi ? vaghti mast mikardi ? vaghti hashari mishodi ? vaghti tanha mishodi ? vaghti hich chizi nadashti baraye fekr kardan ? ya vaghti jorat dashti ba khodet sadegh bashi ? chand bar delet havaye mano dashtan kard ? chand dafe dorovaret az ein adamaye khob khali shod ke vaghti dashti bashi yade man bashi ? pesaraye rango varang ... yeki sefid yeki siah .. ama manam ke hamishe ham sefido ham siah ...
adama avaz mishan ... are midonam ,,, ein haghighate ,... hatmanam nabayad bad beshan ba avaz shodan ... to ham avaz shodi ... nemidonam vase chi ? to hamon shirini ? na be khoda nisti ... on shirin ye jori dige bod .. karash harfash .. shahamatesh ... sedaghatesh .. ye zamani fekr mikardam age khoda ye rozi shoro kone be dorogh kone to ein karo nemikoni .... toro ye jori mishnakhtam ke ba hame donya fargh dashti ... on roozi ke goftam chera eingad lebasaye baz misposhi gofti mage man adam nistam ... to delam goofti vaghan on shirine parsal kojast ? chi shode ? che balaei saresh omade ? on shirini ke migoft hich chizo hich kaso to donya be andazeye to nemikham hala nemidone che jori man daghon misham vaghti mibinam ba ein pesare hasti va to midoni eino ama bazam kare khodeto mikoni .. eina yani chi ? gheymate azadi eine ? ein yani azad bodam ? mikhaasti mano az ro bebari ? shayad mikhasti mano emtehan koni ? shayad mikhasti khodeto sargarm koni ke be man fekr nakoni ya bahane dashte bashi pishe man nabashi ... shayadam na hich kodom .. aslan be ein chiza fekr nakardi ... deelet mikhast be on bashi haala kone laghe man chi mikesham ... shirin fekr kardi ein 4 ta jaye tigh ro dasto pam hamaye zakhmam hast ? na valla ...... hezar tasham roye ghalbam hast ... zakhmaye ro dasto pa kheyli bemone jash 2-3 hafte dige hast .. ama on zakhma roye dele ke hich vaght jash nemire ...
 
eina ro velesh ... che baroni dare miad ... nemidonam dige einghad einja hastan ke yebar dige baroni az poshte ein panjere bebinam ... are azize delam to gharne moshako safine man hanoz ba didane baron vaghti be to fekr mikonam erza misham ...
 
ta beparam , par nadaram
shabam ke akhar nadaram
ta bemonam , tab nadaram
                              khastam vali khab nadaram
boye shisheye tar miad
sedaye khakestar miad
baraye man nafas bekesh
                            hanoz ein az to  bar miad .....
 
dari migi ein pesare khole .... bade 10 mah dava morafe hala ke khasteghari karde va zaheran javabe are dadan baz dige chi mige ... dari migi nakone hich vaght aghel nashe ....
shirin khastam ... khaste az ein hame jango goriz ... chera hey az man farar mikoni ? chera nemikhay ye marham bezari ro zakhmam ? midoni ein pesare on rooze dava chia behem gooft ... hamishe to zendeghim ahle risk bodam hata zamani ke khodam midonestam 5% be zor shans bord daram ama bazam varede on jang ya bazi mishodam chon hamishe ye poroei khasi dashtamo daram ... on roze dava avalin bar ke poshtam larzid ... avalin bar ke ba einke shanse bordam bishtar bod kheyli ama tarsidam az jang ... na divone manzoram az jang kardam dava kardan ba on pesare nist ... age bahash dargir besham ye roozi ye joori mizanamesh ke rahe khonasho gom kone ... na bahs eina nist ,, vaghti dor shodi va ma shoro kardim harf zadan goft she is mine .. goftam na ... shoro kard masato neshon dadan ... goft einke maryame goft khodesh khaste esmesh nabashe .. goftam tosho bebinam nazasht ... goftam doste adish hasti .. midoni chi gooft ... goft u are stiuped . goft mage nemibini on hazer nist ba to harf bezane ama hamash dare ba man harf mizane ... goft mage nemibini on hazer nist ba to ye metram rah biad ama hamash ba man rah miad ... eina ham mohem nabod ... badesh goft mikhay beram bosesh konam ke bavaret beshe on dost dokhtare mane .. shirin einja bod ke avalin bar toye tamome omram poshtarm larzid az jangidan ... tanam yakh kard ... to dahanam naymad begam are ... shayad age gofte bodam are , jang be nafe man shode bod ...midoni chera gftam na ... chon jangi nadashtam ba to ... netonestam to on lahze risk konam begam are ... age boset mikard to chizi nemigofti midoni chi mishod ?  vaghan midoni chi mishod ? na hata tasavoresho ham nemitoni bokoni ... shirian jorat nakardam begam are ... hamon lahze tasmim gereftam ghable einke ein sahne ro bebinam bezar nabasham dige hich vaght ... on lahze ke eino shenidam hezar sal khatere jelo chesham omado raft ... delam vase khodam skht ... yadete vaghti dast be yaghe shode bodim chi shod ? vasate on giro dar ke on mikhast dashtane toro be rokhe man bekeshe va ghodrat namaei bokone jeloye man masalan , man negarane chi bodam ... vaseete on harfa vaghti masalan to vasate ma bodi man behesh goftam dont touch her ...  on lahze fekr khodam nabodam ke entegham begiram az on pesare ya hese ghororamo ya gheyratamo erza konam ... on lazhe tanha chizi ke didam ein bod ke on dastesh be shoneye to khorde va mano ein daghon kard ... dige khodam yadam raft ... yadete ya na goftam dont touch her ... va javabe tamome ehsasamo to chand min badesh gerfetm az to ... gofti are ein dost pesare man hast ... mas neshonam dadi ke behem sabet koni ... gfoti reza man kheyli tanham ... shirin midoni tanhaei chiye ? on lahze bod ke donya roye saram kharab shod ... delam mikhast ye bar faghat ye bar hese ghororamo to erza koni ke nakardi ... chera nakardi ? chon vaghan dost pesarete ? ya gofti ke man dast az saret vardaram .... kheyli fargh mikone ke kodomesh bod ama joftesh ye chizo sabet mikone ... man cheghadr divone va ahmagham ... pesare rast migoft man vaghan stiuped hastam ... on lazhe belof nazadan ke khodamo mikosham ... chon vaghti eino behet goftam already morde bodam ... on chizi ke badesh didi ke rah raft ta be mashinesh resid va bad raft khone morde bod dige ..... bad omadi einja masto patil didish hamon lahze ke to gofti are on dost pesarame morde bood ... rastesh dige ehtiaji na be tigh bood na ghoors ... vaghti on ghoorsa ro mikhoram ya ein tigha ro keshidam saat ha bod morde bodam dige ... midonestam age bebinamet ye bar dige jorate ein karo nakhaham dasht vali bazam mikhast bebinamet ... ba einke on lahzeha ehsas mikardam har chi begi dige bavar nemikonam ama delam mikhast ye chizi begi ke bavar konam baz ... vase ein hameye zoramo jam kardam raftam zire chaei ro roshan kardam, chaei irani ba livane shisheei ... taze na har livane shisheeei ... bayad shafaf ham bashe ... az akharin bari ke einja bodi hich kas hata khodam dast be on livan nazade bood ama mastim baes shod beshkane ... on livan nabod ke shekast .. tamome ein roozhaei bood ke man be to har 24 saate shabane roz khoda fekr mikardam ... on ghoorore man bod shekast .. on akharin zareye dele man bod ke shekast ... on akharin tavane man bod ke shekast on akharin ghoodrate man bod ke az beyn raft on lazhe .... ama kheyli shirin bod dobare didanet toye ein khone ... baz dastato hes mikardam roye khodam ... baz toye tovalet mano boos kardi ... baz dame dar baraye yek lahze labaye mano bosidii .. bego baz .. bego azizam .. bego reza faghat donbale sexe faghat ... bego reza to lahzeye mordanam havasesh hast ke man dastam be koajsh mikhore ya kojasho bos mikonam ...
kashki cheshmat male man bood
 
eina ro velesh ... che barooni dare miad ... dari gerye mikoni ? boghz kardi ? vase man  ? ya vase khodet ? vaghti be madaret zang zadam hameye joratamo hameye khayamo hameye zoramo jam kardam gozashtam baraye ein kar ... midoni chera ? mikhastam behet sabet konam ghabol .. taslim ... man raho eshebah raftam ... hala behet mikonam kiam  ... va baraye khodam ... baraye einke be khodam sabet konam cheghad doset daram ? kare asooni nabod ...vaghti fekresh omad to saram be khodam goftam reza alan on lahze hast ke kone laghe hameye donya , be khodet sabet kon cheghad asheghi ...cheghad jorat dari ? cheghad mikhahish ? va be khodam sabet kardam ... ama fekr nakon ein karo kardam ke joratamo be to ya khodam neshon bedam faghat ... na azizam ... on kar akharin tire arash bod ke baram mond bod  ... akharin omidam bod baaraye omido royaye toro dashtan .... toei ke har jori dastet resid mano khord kardi ... ama man mikhamet ... be on khoda mikhamet ... kheyli hamishe be ein fekr karde bod ke chi mishe ke man jorat peyda konam be madaret zang bezanam ... on lahze vaghtesh bood ke be donya sabet konam shirino mikham ... hata age mano nabod kone ... toro hich vaght nakhastam chon male man bodi ... to mahhast hata hazer nist 20 saniye ba man harf bezani ta majbor nemishodi ... ama ein kara az eshgham kam nakard ...
ama alan ... nemidonam kojam ... kojae zendeghit hastam ...vaghan asheghe mani ? vaghan mikhay man mard zendeghit basham ? vaghan on harfa ke on pesare dost pesare mane ya che midonam ye psare half amrikaei dost peserete rast bod ya dorogh ? behem gofti are mikhamet ke marde zendeghit basham ... on are cheghad az tahe del bood ... az tarse divone baziye man nabod ? baraye ein nabod ke felan az share man rahat shi ... ya vaghan man eshtebah nakarde bodam va to ham mano mikhasy mese on rooza ke migofti reza tanhat nemizaram hichvaght ... mese on roza ke vaseye didane man 1 min tamome shahro miyomadi ... kodomo bavar konam ? on negahaye sare kelaso ya on hameye zoret mano az khodet dor kardano ? yadete ye bar sou porsid ki pepsi dost dare ki koka ? to hamzaman ba bala bordane dastet baraye pepsi barghashti mano negah kardi ke bebini nazare man chiye ? chera ? chera be michel negah nakardi ke nazaresh chiye ?   age manam on mardi ke to fekrete pas chera ba einke midonesti man zare zare ab misham az didane harf zadane to ba on pesare pas chera ein karo mikardi ? mano emtehan koni ? mano bikhial koni ? mano az ro bebari ? mifahmi chi migam ... khob mifahmi ke man kojaham sokhte ke ein tori harf mizanam  ...khob mifahmi cheghad khordam az hame chi ein rooza ke emroz migi divone hastam ... are man divoone hastam ... ta akhare omram ham divoonatam .... hamishe az roozi ke az iran barghashti ye chizi to cheshat hast .. cheshat mese khodet hanoz amrikaei nashode nemitone dorogh bege ... cheshat ye chizi mikhad behem beege engar ke man khob nemifahmam .... cheshato ye joori mikhonam ke ye chizi mige ama labat einghad birahmane mano nabod kard ke nemitonam be koodom etemad konam dige ... dige kam ovordam einghad fekr kardam ... maghazam pokide .... age vaghan mano mikhasy va toye tamome ein modat man to fekret bodam pas chera ba on pesare harf mizani ? mage nagofti behesh gofti dige hagh nadare behet mas behet znag bezane ya har chizi dige ... mikhay begi dosttet faghat .. che dosti hast ke nemitoni azash begzari ? kojaye zendeghit hast ,.... nemifahmam toro ... khoda vakilish cheghad talaha arezo karde man dast az saret bardaram. chand dafe arezo kardi aslan mano ba ye dokhtar bebini ke khialet rahat she az daste man ..na baraye einke hatman beri dost pesar begiri poshtesh ... shayad baraye einke be ein natije beresi ke dar morede  man eshtebah nakardi ... cheghad delet khaste man ye kari bokonam ke zabonet deraz she sare man ke manam daram ye karaei mikonam ....
hich vaght mano bavar nakardi .... nemidonam chera  .... nemidonam kojaye raho eshtebah raftam .... nemidonam be kodom gonah daram ein jori mikhoram ... nemidonam cheghad dige davom miram ... tamom ein harfa be ein mani nist ke harfamo avaz kardam .. na azizam ... man behet ghool dadam behet sabet konam ke hamon reza hastam ke to parsal didi ... rezaei hastam ke  donya ro barat tekon midam .... faghat chand mahe kochik sabr kon ke bebini az sang ham sakht tar misham ke to betoni be man etemadkoni ,,, behem tekiye koni , mano marde zendeghit bedoni ,... behet sabeet mikonam cheghad mitonam ghavi basham az har nazar vaghti to angizam bashi baraye zende bodam ... vaghti to angizam bashi baraye talash kardan ...behet sabet mikonam age behet goftam shirin ye forsat be man bede kossher nabod ... behet kheyli chiza ro sabet mikonam .....
ta key mikhad radam koni ?
pishe hame badam koni ?
mikhay ke az eshghe khodet ,
                                           rosvaye alamam koni ?
halam kharabo daghone
bi mehriat faravone ,
age mano nakhay dige ,
                             nafas baram nemimone ...
geryehamo nemibini
ghoosehamo nemidoni
faryade ghalbe zakhmimo az to chesham nemikhoni ..
einghade del shekaste-am
az ein zamone khaste-am
to az pisham raftio man hanoz,
                                              be pat neshashte-am
 
shayad hameye ein fekra dorost bashe shayadam hamash dari vari ... hamishe farar mikoni az man ... az hame chi farar mikoni .. nemidonam chera ? chera nemikhay man javabe hameye soalamo begiram  ? shirin ye rozi az hame donya farar mikardi ba man bashi ... alan hazeri ba har chizi besazi baraye az man farar kardan ... shirine man , man hamon reza ,,, ye bar dige dasteto bezar toye dastaye man .. ye bar dige be man tekiye kon age jaei daram to ghalbet .. nemikham delet vase man besooze ya ehsasati beshi ya az roye ehteram be man kari bokoni ... man shirino mikham joda az har ghoone deal ba zendeghi .... man hamon shirini ke rooze aval didam mikham .... man hamon shirino mikham ke donya ro barash besazam ... hameye donyamo behesh bedam ..
man kam bodam baarat ama kam nazashtam  ...
shayad har do ye kam be aramesh ehtiaj dashte bashim ... har do khaste hastim ...shayad az ye chiz shayad az chizaye mokhtalef ....
 
eina ro velesh .... ama heyf baron band omad .. pas behtare manam beram ...
 
Ta dobare didane to ,
                        dasto royam ra nakhaham shoost ....
لینک
۱۳۸٦/۱٠/٢٧ - رضا

       

are man bodam zang zadam ghat kardam .. chi mgi ... halam bade khob .. mmastam khob .... mikham sedato beshmavam ... mikham begi dosam darii ... ba einke gofti dosam nadaram , yeki dige ro mikhasti hamishe ama midoni dele dige .. fahm dorost hesabi nadare ... faghat hey migi shirin

shirin

shirin

shirin

khob chi kar konnam

doset dare ein del dige

mikhamdet hamash

sinam dare atish migiire .. kash on 3 nfaram to iran nabodam hamin alan khodamo khalas mikardam

kash mishod sedto dashtam alan

haalam beham khord einghad kash kash kardam

لینک
۱۳۸٦/۱٠/٢٠ - رضا

       

delam barat tange ... delam ye joori hast ... nemidonam chera ama yeki 2 hafte hast har shab khabeto mibinam .. age migam har shab shayad bavar nakoni ama har shabe be khoode ... ye hese ajibi daram ... ye deltangiye badiye ... to delam engar koore roshan kardam ... nemidonam chera har kari mikonam fekret nemire az saram ... har rahi begi raftam ama nashod ... hichi chizi nemitone aromam kone ... ye delshoreye ajibi daram ... nemidonam dige chi kar bayad mikardi ke mano az khodet beranjoni ama bazam doset daram .. bazam mikhameeeeeeeeeeet alan ... nemitonam be chizi ya kasi dige fekr konam ... emroz sare kelas dashtam dagh mikardam .. nemidonam faghat emroz naymadi ya rafti dropesh kardi ya kelaseto avaz kardi ... kash doset nadashtam .. kash mishod ye kami bi tafavot besham nesbat be karat .... midonam ye roori miad mibinam ba kasi hast va on rooz payane hame chi khahad bood ... payane ye sarneveshte tokhmi shayad .... shayad on rooz rahat betonam khodamo khalas konam ...

jalebe har domon az fereshte hesasb mibarim ... to ham payroz ke  man chizi badi nagoftam yehoo jelo fereshte omadi ghodrat namaei koni .. ok shirin ... donya hamishe ein toori nemimone .. felan noone khoshghelito bokhor ... ama khahi didi ye roozi miad ke mifahmi hame eina ke alan daran az koonet mikhoran donbale ye chizan ama  oni ke asheghet bood va paye hame chit vaysad man bood  va to cheha ke ba man nakaerdi ... khoda did faghat ke ba man che kardi ama man hanozam dooset daram ama to malom nist donbale chi ki hasti ... chi khasti ke man nakardam vasat ...

to entegame on pesarero to iran az man gerefti , khoda kone daste rozegar enteghame mano az to nagire ke on moghe khoda be dadet berese ...

khejalat nemikeshi hanozam migi man behet hich vaght dorogh nagoftam ya bahat bazi nakardam .. dige chi kar mikhasti bokoni ke nakardi .... yadete ye bar behet gooftam har kasi to zendegish ye raze be  kasi nemige ,,,, yadete goftam ye chizi to cheshmat dare behem mige dari ye chizi ro azam penhoon mikoni ? motmaenam ke yadete .... nemidonam daram tavane kodom goonaho midam ke 1 saniye khoda nemitonam az fekret biam ... akhe chera man bayad einghad asheghe toye bi marefat basham ... ghasam khordi boodi tanham nemizari ... ama ein joori khodamo zendegimo atish zadi .. ensaf bood ? har dino aeeini ke miparsti , toosh ein kari ke ba man kardi ensaf nabod ... man che badi be to kardam akhe ? any way

dige hich ghoorsi nemitone behem aramesh bede ... ye rozi baz mano mibini ke on rooz shayad pashimon beshi ama fekr nakonam chizi azam monde bashe on rooz ...

مثه بارون اگه نباری ، خبر از حال من نداری

بی تو پر پر میشم دو روزه . دل سنگت برام میسوزه

ein estekanam be salamti baz ... shayad akhare ein shishe wiskey khabam bebare on vaght dige bidar nasham to ham rahat shi baby ...

 

لینک
۱۳۸٦/۱٠/٢٠ - رضا

       

امشب مرا غم دیوانه کرده                

در خانه ی دل ، کاشانه کرده

امشب غرورم را فدایی میکنم من     

                     ای دل برایت دست و پایی میکنم من

امشب به کویش میروم ،

                               با گریه سویش میروم

شاید دلش را ، با اشک خود آتش زنم

در تاب و در تب افکنم ،

                             یکبار دیگر

میروم امشب به سویش

میگویم از دردم برایش

 

امشب به کویش میروم ،

                               با گریه سویش میروم         

لینک
۱۳۸٦/۱٠/۱٥ - رضا

       

farda ke na ama pas farda tavalodete nazanin ... dige einghad  hame chi kharabe ke hata nemidonam jorat mikonam bia ye tabrik beehet begam ya na .... age khodamo razi kardam ke nayam fekr kon hatman bi marefat boodam ... delam bad joori gerefte ... dare mitereke ... ye shishe wiskey khali kardam balke ke khabam bebabre ama engar na engar ... einghad to ein sinam ghame ke alkolam dige asar nemikone .. ye chizi toye sinam misooze ... einghar delam mikhad kande beshe az to sineeeeeeeeeeeeeee .... chi begam dige ke sokot tanha soalo javabe man baraye hame chi ..

karish nemishe kard .. baayad ba jabr zamone sakht ..

از ما گذشت خوب و بد ، اما تو  ای روزگار       فکری به حال خود بکن ، این روزگار نیست

begzarim ... khafe sham behtare ... einghad mimonam ta delam betereke ta rahat sham  ... ein tori khiale to va khanevadatam rahat mishe .. on moghe be hameye arezohat miresi va hatman ye marde khob barat peyda mikonan ... kasi ke mard bashe na mese man late bi saro pa...

لینک
۱۳۸٦/۱٠/٢ - رضا